Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
