I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
