Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The air was thick with penises
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
