I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
