You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
