I skipped work to stalk him.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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