i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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