im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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