My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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