SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you win again, gameday.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
