I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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