Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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