Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
