So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
