Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
