Plan B is the new Plan A
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
