the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
