i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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