it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
