I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
