oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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