All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
