hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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