Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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