i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was a trapeze. enough said
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
