I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
