yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
