How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
