So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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