i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
