He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
