So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
