4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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