I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
