just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
