Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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