Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
