Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
