i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
