If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
