You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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