He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
