you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
