this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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