I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
