I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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