I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So vagazzling was a success
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
