Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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