i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
