You can't motorboat a personality
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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